It is that time of the year again. Time to busy out the Christmas lights, the hot cocoa, and most important of all; holiday horror movies! These are five of our favorite Christmas Holiday Horror movies. Is yours on our list?
Gremlins (1984)
What is it:
Randall Peltzer is desperately looking for a Christmas present for his son Billy. His search takes him to Chinatown where he discovers an antique store containing a small, furry creature called a mogwai. The shop owner’s son secretly sells Randall the mogwai but not before giving him three very important rules in how to handle the mythical critter.
Rule number one: Do not expose a mogwai to light – especially sunlight which can kill the poor creature.
Rule number two: Do not let it come in contact with water.
And most importantly rule number three: NEVER feed it after midnight.
Of course, Randall’s Son ends up breaking all these rules resulting in the birth of violent Gremlins. Now the family must work together to destroy the Gremlins before they overpopulate and destroy the town.
Why we love it:
What I love the most about Gremlins is that it is legitimately terrifying! Sure, Gizmo the mogwai is adorable but his Gremlin counterparts are anything but! Their sharp teeth, beady yellow eyes, and menacing expressions make them a thing of nightmares; especially if you are a little kid who is watching the movie for the first time. This is all thanks to the spectacular special effects done by Chris Walas and his team. They made the Gremlins, and Gizmo, quite believable.
It also balances its horror and suspense with slapstick humor. This is no small feat mind you. If you lean too heavy into the horror than the humor feels out of place. If there is too much slapstick than the Gremlins lose all malice. Luckily it manages to handle both quite well providing us with a memorable, and surprisingly dark, Christmas movie.
Krampus (2015)
What is it:
A dysfunctional family has a rather nasty Christmas dinner resulting in the youngest son Max tearing apart his letter to Santa. Unfortunately, this blasphemous act summons the “Shadow of Santa Klaus” – a monstrous and powerful deity known as Krampus. Krampus, along with his army of elves and evil toys, seeks out Max and his family to punish them for losing the spirit of the holiday.
Why we love it:
A horror movie about Krampus is nothing new. Just google “Krampus movies” to see dozens upon dozens of movies dedicated to the so-called shadow of Santa Claus. So, what is it about the 2015 movie that makes it stand out above the rest?
Well, it’s because this movie has something the others don’t.
Heart.
I know that sounds like a line out of a Saturday Morning Cartoon but it’s true. Behind the terrifying creature designs and chilling atmosphere is a heart-warming story about two families coming together. You have the well-off and privileged Engels (the family where our main character Max comes from) and their rough and tumble cousins who live like a family of survivalists with a “strong eat the weak” mentality. They are opposites in every definition of the word. So much so that the entire first act is dedicated to showing how incompatible they are as not only family but friends as well.
But that doesn’t stop them from putting aside their difference with the crap hits the fan. As soon as they realize something is wrong, they band together. And it is through this team-up that they discover that they are not as different as they once thought.
This is the core of Krampus. Yes, it is a horror movie with spectacular practical effects (seriously, the design of Krampus and his elves are god-tier.) but it is also a movie about family coming together when times are their roughest. It is this reason that makes Krampus a must-watch during every holiday season.
Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)
What is it:
A group of Finnish hunters discover that their season has been ruined after discovering hundreds of massacred reindeer in the snowy wilderness. They set up a series of traps in hopes of catching whatever it was responsible for the animals’ deaths. Thinking that wolves were responsible, they are shocked to discover the body of a grizzled old man inside their pit-trap.
It doesn’t take long for the hunters to realize that there is something sinister about this old man. Enticed by gingerbread and lured by the flesh of children; the hunters believe that this is no man but Santa Claus himself.
Why we love it:
There is something unsettlingly funny about Rare Exports and I think it is because of how serious it takes itself. On the surface it sounds rather silly. A movie about reindeer hunters capturing and auctioning off a feral Santa Claus? It sounds like something you’d see on television as a Christmas comedy special. But the fact that every member of the cast and crew treats this as a serious movie, with Santa being a serious threat, that makes the movie that much more enjoyable.
The humor does not come from one-liners or slapstick but from the ridiculousness of the situation. But do not, for one second, think that its ridiculous nature undermines the horror. The movie is still scary but in an unsettling way. Even when nothing is happening you cannot help but feel a sense of wrongness in the air. You can contribute this with the fantastic way the movie is shot – with lots of quiet moments, sweeping shots of the frigid landscape, and wonderful sound design.
And as much as I would love to discuss the second half of the movie, I fear that by doing so I will be ruining some of the best parts of the movie. So, with that said, I do recommend Rare Exports if you are in the mood for something different in your holiday horror lineup.
Santa’s Slay (2005)
What is it:
Santa is not the happy-go-lucky elf that we all know and love. He is, instead, a demon who lost a bet with an angel. His punishment? To spend the next 1,000 years spreading joy and happiness to the people of the world.
Unfortunately, the 1,000 years is up, and Santa is looking forward to spending this Christmas doing what he does best –anyone and everyone in his way. So, you had better watch out and you better prepare to cry because Santa Claus is coming to town.
Why we love it:
Now don’t get me wrong. This movie is dumb. It is a dumb, stupid, pointless movie with very storyline, useless characters who exist only to die, and is based off an idea that has been done to death. A killer Santa? We’ve seen it before. It’s nothing new.
So, what makes Santa’s Slay worthy of our annual holiday horror marathon?
Two words: Bill Goldberg.
The wrestler-turned-actor is the sole reason to give this movie a chance. Not only does he make it watchable, but enjoyable as well. Every scene he is in he is hamming it up for the camera. You know Goldberg understands the kind of movie he’s in. As such he spends his time chewing the scenery; spouting a ton of Chrismas-themed puns as he uses his experience as a wrestler to manhandle his victims in a variety of hilarious methods.
Although it does get a bit slow in the middle, it still manages to provide us with a fun albeit stupid good time. This is the perfect holiday horror movie to throw on in the background as you go about wrapping presents or baking goods. Something that is great background noise that you don’t have to pay much attention too to enjoy.
P2 (2007)
What is it:
Businesswoman Angela Bridges is kidnapped by an awkward security guard who confesses that he is in love with her. He is convinced that he and Angela are meant to be together and will stop at nothing to get his way.
Why we Love it:
Holiday horror generally tends to focus on the more comedic elements of the genre. I mean, just look at this list. Everything previously can be considered horror-comedy. Even ones that take themselves seriously as Rare Exports does – it still has a tinge of comedy to its darkness.
P2 is not one of these movies.
P2 is first and foremost a psychological thriller. It is a slow, satisfying burn that relies on atmosphere and suspense instead of slapstick and humorous dialogue. And what makes P2 so scary is how real it feels. This is a movie that preys on a woman’s biggest fear: being stalked and manipulated by a toxic, violent person who is obsessed with her.
The suspense is only compounded by Wes Bentley’s performance as stalker Thomas Barclay. How easily he transforms himself from condescending “nice guy” to psychotic sociopath is brilliant. It just makes him that much more unnerving as you can never tell what he is going to do next.
But I’d be remiss to mention Rachel Nichols as Angela Bridges. To put it simply; she is badass. She is resourceful, manipulative, and not afraid to get her hands dirty when the situation calls for it. You cannot help but root for her as she tries to outmaneuver the obsessive and cautious Thomas Barclay.
And for those who say that P2 is not a Christmas movie; I tell you to watch it again. Not only does it take place during Christmas Eve, but it also includes Christmas Lights, Christmas music, and even a Christmas dinner with all the trimmings.
Take that, Die Hard!
